What Are You Grateful For?

Gratitude is important because it’s helping me to banish disappointment.

One of my mottos as of late:
I haven’t come this far to only come this far.
It’s been a bit of a whirlwind since moving back to Portland and I’ve been keeping busy to keep my mind off of things that didn’t go so well in the recent past.

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So it’s been hard to update this site with new content. There, I finally said it out loud to you, dear readers. Focusing has been a key issue as of late and I can’t remember the last time I did a Git commit. Here’s a quote from a book I’ve recently finished reading and I’ll let Genevieve Davis say this better than I can:
You have probably heard the virtues of positive thinking. But rather than trying to think positively, it is much easier and more effective to when starting out simply to stop thinking negatively. So stop complaining. No exceptions. This does not mean lying down and taking whatever life throws at you like some sort of doormat. Neither does it mean eating a cold meal in a restaurant because you feel you mustn’t complain. Complaints to a specific and relevant person in order to bring about a change of affairs are obviously permitted. What isn’t allowed is complaining for the sake of complaining – talking in a negative way about something for fun, to gossip about someone in a derogatory way, to pass the time of day, or worse, to make you feel better, more important, or as a way of connecting with another person.
Although I don’t currently have a full-time job in tech, I have been contacted by several recruiters since moving back. Ultimately the roles are too senior with the skills they are asking for. I’m grateful that I do have other abilities outside of tech so I’ve got my side hustles going on. I’ve been lucky to be able to work at a former place of employment here, and the friendly familiarity with some coworkers is nice. I’ve also had a few interviews here and there and one of them was with a major comic book company. Their rejection was fairly swift, which I honestly appreciated because all too often you’re left dangling in the void. Perhaps my greatest realization as of late is that I’ve broken free from the mindset that I had while I attended that ridiculous non-coding bootcamp in Oakland. It took a long time to admit to myself that it was a waste of time to put all my eggs in their basket as far as my skills and job prospects were concerned. However, I adore my dear friends that I would have never made if I’d not attended. Many of us recently acquired some relief from their questionable contract that we had initially signed nearly two years ago. So what now? What I’ve done is go back to basics. I am going through the updated version of Colt Steele’s Web Developer Bootcamp on Udemy. How’s your relationship with social media? I’ve been feeling more removed from it and I think that I will save my deepest thoughts for here. Even then I’m not sure what to reveal? I did miss feeling glamorous and have been revisiting my closet lately to prune items that no longer belong in my life. People are buying them and I’m thrilled that they’re going to new homes.
I’m going through all my worldly belongings as well. Old energies are dispersed and memories are left in the past where they belong as I resell pieces that might have been of more significance a long time ago. Back when I was young and full of naivete. Kidding, but my birthday is coming up soon. Last year I’d already started giving myself an extra year because I can has math. I’ll actually be the real 44 in a couple of weeks. Arbitrary age at this point but it’s disarming when people think I’m younger, especially during job interviews. There are so many variables to interviewing now but I can’t tone myself down any longer. I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste. I’m also grateful for the people and situations that continually challenge my boundaries. Never say no to yourself to say yes to anyone or anything. To clarify: I don’t mean in that disciplined way that’s good for you and will challenge your brain’s plasticity, I mean the ways that you might be expected to diminish yourself and your spirit to accommodate others. This is a major lesson I’m grateful for. Have an awesome weekend!